raised by wolves

I usually puke in the morning and today is no different. I climb to my feet and shuffle away from the pile of partially digested meat byproducts and malt liquor. I dig into the trash and find donuts and bagels and eat my fill before wandering out into the sun to meet the day. I find an abandoned shopping cart nearby and for lack of anything better to do, I begin pushing it along in front of me. I might find something worthwhile to cart back, like a chair or a small table to sleep under.
I wonder sometimes what it is that makes me still desire so many strange things. I’ve had nothing for so long and still survived, you’d think I would have obtained enlightenment by now, a drunk old Buddha, miserable and alone in the rain and the muck.
I wonder what the Buddha would do in my situation. Meditate, more than likely.
Fuck enlightenment.

I wander around the city in the spring sun. There’s nothing worthwhile here.

I walk down an alley not unlike my own, but this one is behind a consignment shop and not a convenience store. I look in the dumpsters and find a treasure trove. At the end of the day, my cart is full of two new jackets, one brown suit jacket and one gray raincoat affair, a small folding chair, a new pair of slacks and a curtain that I can use as a blanket.
As I turn to push my cart and my loot back to my alley, something strange catches my attention from the corner of my eye. It is a green gilded handle. My eyes pop and my mouth drops open and I dive for it. On the end of the handle is not a ten-foot samurai sword like in my dream. I realize it is silly to have expected it to be such, but my old brain is not as sharp as it once was, and I have always been given to flights of fancy. On the end of the green gilded handle is, however, a short, sharp machete-style blade, spray-painted with black glossy paint. I looked around conspiratorially and then nonchalantly slid the machete into my cart.
I return to my alley with the words from the previous night’s dream echoing in my head. All that is not right shall be put so by my hand, by my sword.